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| Volume 10, Number 6 | November 01, 2002 |
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Tiny campus clan of MacPhersons makes it into 2002-03 directory- Smiths hard to beat, with 25 campus phonebook entries - By Colleen MacPherson
The new campus telephone directory arrived the other day and when I was sure nobody was looking, I checked the green pages to make sure I was there. I am. Scoff if you will, but this is my first appearance in the directory, confirmation that I am now an official member of the campus community. I like to think there are other checkers out there too - first-timers like myself, people with oft-misspelled names, or those whose names have changed in the past year. I wonder if Aasen, J. in Student and Enrolment Services checked the new book to make sure she is still the first name listed? Did Zwarych, S. from Education do the same to see if she is still last? Once I found myself on Page 90, I realized that as MacPherson, C., I led a short list of campus MacPhersons - D. in Biochemistry and L. in Food Services. The question that came to mind immediately, of course, was whether we might related. Not that I'm unhappy with the relatives I have now, but there's always room for a few more names on my Christmas card list. A couple of phone calls and a meeting over coffee in the Sub Shoppe in Marquis Hall was all it took to confirm that I'm not related to Lee, the Assistant Director of Food Services, or Diane who is a Technical Assistant in Biochemistry. And truth be told, as the campus branch of the Clan MacPherson, we're rather a sorry lot. Not one of us has been to Scotland, let alone to Newtonmore on the River Spey, home of the Clan MacPherson Museum. None of us speak the Gaelic, except inadvertently when we spill our morning coffee all over the newspaper, and none of us plays the bagpipes, which is probably a lucky thing for those with earshot.
Lee is the only 'real' MacPherson, having been born to the name, while Diane and I both married into the clan. Unfortunately, family circumstances have left Lee with no information about his Scottish heritage beyond knowing the name MacPherson derives from 'son of a parson' and the clan motto is "Na bean don chat gun lamhainn (Touch not the cat but a glove)", whatever that means. Diane can trace her adopted clan back a couple of generations to Porcupine Plain and her father-in-law is fond of singing Scottish folk songs (the clean versions only). My branch of the clan can trace itself back to Isle of Skye, I own a MacPherson Hunting White Ground tartan skirt, a French piper played at my wedding and I'm often asked at Christmas dinner to carry in a flaming pudding while my father-in-law squeaks out some lament on the chanter. I'm not sure flaming food is a true Scottish tradition, but it certainly adds an element to danger to serving dessert. One thing all the campus MacPhersons share is an oft-misspelled name. The most common mistake is a lower-case 'p' (see Lee's listing under Food Services, Page 33), followed by the missing 'a' as in McPherson, but McFerson also appears occasionally. Lee said he's given up worrying about misspellings but Diane takes a more firm tack: "I had to learn how to spell it right, so everyone else should too." Even more frequent than misspellings of his name is Lee being asked 'Are you that Les MacPherson who writes a column in The StarPhoenix?' Leaving aside the fact that being assistant manager of Food Services is more than a full-time job, leaving little time for column writing, Lee can understand the confusion - "Lee. Les. They're pretty close." I offered him my best advice: if the person asking the question liked the column, take the credit. Otherwise, deny any connection! That's what I do. We also all share a desire to visit Scotland some day, to soak up the glorious scenery, the rich history and possibly the Scotch whiskey. But what about some of the other campus clans? We MacPhersons are badly outnumbered by the McDonald/MacDonald/Macdonald group, of which there are 12, and we're certainly no match for the McLeans/MacLeans (9). We're even beat out by the McGregors (4), the McKays (4) and the Campbells (4). We do, however, outnumber the McBains (1), the McBeths (1) and the McBrides (1) to say nothing of the phone directory's lone MacKinnon, which in Gaelic is MacFhionghuin. Oops, just found a "McKinnon" in Animal & Poultry Science, but we still outnumber them 3 to 2. Flipping through the green pages beyond the m's, the Smiths once again take the prize for having the most numerous name on campus with 25 entries. They're followed closely by the Wilsons with 21, and the Johnsons with 19. Among the most colorful names in the directory are the 13 Browns, six Whites, four Greens, four Grays and a lone Black. And if your name starts with the letter s, congratulations - there are more of you than of any other letter in the alphabet.
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